No more jury duty

Yay! I've been excused. I knew because of an event in my life, I will hold an emotional bias towards this case.

I was the first 18. I was jury #15. I was fighting hard to maintain my composure. When the accused were introduced, it humanizes the case.

The courtroom was filled with the jury pool. The attorneys and the defendant is on one side , the plaintiff's attorney and a detective on the other table.


I thought the defense team was huge. But it turned out that they were with their clients. I have been eyeing them one by one. Putting my best placid face. Some of the defendants made eye contact with me. One of them forever had this imploring , pleading expression. One was inappropriately confident, as though this was a special event and not being tried for murder.


With no envy, I listed to the judge pick through the first 18 one by one. He maintained a very light hearted atmosphere, despite the darkness of the case. I listened as one by one , each of the jurors candidly stated their opinion and I see some of them was excused by the judge. I have to fight back tears, every time the judge would say something about murder or something to that effect. I keep thinking about my beautiful cousin M, who was a victim of home invasion, rape and murder. I keep praying that I will not have to go through this trial and relive the horror of what I went through. I was hoping that the judge will not have to pry too much information from me. In a roomful of people. The judge has a good sense of humor and I consider myself a cheery person who is easily amused. Laughter comes easy for me. But during the whole jury selection in the court room, I can't crack a smile. I retreated within myself. I tuned in to what the judge was saying and at the same time, I kept thinking about what happened to my beloved M.

When it was finally my turn, I can't even speak. I just nodded in acknowledgement. I can't remember much of what he said but I will be forever greatful that he knows that I didn't have to explain myself. That he understood and dismissed me. I managed a choked up thank you and was out of there.



so anyway, tonight, I will be with my friends and we will have dinner in SF and then we will go to Diva's which is a tranny club :D